Best-Selling Author James Patterson’s New Book About Being Tender and Present as a Father and Man
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“My only memory of hugging my father was on his deathbed. And he apologized to me, and he cried, which he never did. And I told him that he was a great dad. But the way a lot of fathers were in that period…hugging was not a thing,” as James Patterson revealed to Geoff Bennett of PBS News as he told the story behind his new book, The #1 Dad Book.
Patterson put it all on the table: “People are always saying, well, what’s the most important thing here? I was around all the time because I write at home, and Jack was there, et cetera, et cetera. But I wasn’t always present when I was present. You know what I mean? Especially when they’re 6 or 7, you’re not necessarily into…whatever they’re talking about. But to be present, to really listen to them, to whatever they’re doing” really matters.
Research points to how fatherhood looks different than it did a generation or two ago. “Today’s dads spend more time caring for their children…Most view parenthood as a key aspect of who they are, and many have clear aspirations for their children’s futures,” according to the Pew Research Center.
Patterson Offers Heartfelt Reflections on Fatherhood
James Patterson is a household name to many, having written more than 200 books and selling over 450 million copies worldwide. But he turns the page from his best-selling, hyper-masculine thrillers to something more personal and caring in The #1 Dad Book.
“This is where this thing gets serious and why it’s important,” Patterson shares about his slim book, which can be read in an hour. “There are so many guys out there that are lost and overwhelmed, and they’re no longer the breadwinners or whatever the heck it is. And this will help them. It will help. Anybody who reads this thing, you will become a better dad, not a perfect dad, just better.”
3 Takeaways about Becoming a Better Father from James Patterson
USA Today shares some key points from the book:
Hug Your Kids – Patterson relates a short story of visiting a friend with two hulking football player sons. When the kids started to head out the door, their father called them back saying, “Where do you think you two are going?” And he gave them hugs.
“And that’s when that routine became a part of my life, and Jack’s, because every night he got a hug,” says Patterson, smiling. “Jack’s a good kid, he calls us every day.”Be Truly Present – Don’t talk to your kid while you, or they, are half-looking at a phone.
Talk with Friends about Fatherhood – Patterson also encourages men to seek out male friends who are willing to talk about dad issues, instead of “just what’s going on with the local sports team.” He notes that these days, “It’s often women that are the primary breadwinners, and some guys are just lost as a result, they don’t know what their role is, and sometimes there’s a lot of anger which is not useful for anyone.”
Kudos to James Patterson for laying out a positive alternative to toxic masculinity. I think this would not only be a great Father’s Day gift, but a gift to anyone who’s seeking to create a kinder, gentler and more humane world.